In Case This Ends
by Kare Uta
Summary: With the chances that Bryan and Tala may not see eachother again for a long time, the two choose to spend one final perfect night together just in case, but isn't that sort of perfection difficult when one has been raped? TalaBryan. Lemon. Oneshot.


_**A/N: Yaoi + Lemon is in the following so if you find either offensive or seem to dislike either one then please turn back now. Also, this is not meant to be some dirty oneshot of meaningless sex so if you're looking for porn-like material, it's not here. This is the first yaoi material that I'm posting on the site. **_

_**In Case This Ends**_

"Shh." The elder hushed him immediately stroking over the locks of hair with his free hand for the other was still occupied with holding Bryan's. "Let's not talk or think about that for tonight, alright? Let's just enjoy... I want you to be happy Bryan. It still hurts me when you're so upset." He kissed the cheek, feeling a shuddering breath being released against his neck. "I know I can't stop you from being sad when I'll be away from you again... But just... Just forget about that for tonight. Just for tonight..." he turned his head a bit more to find and kiss the sweet lips of the youngest gently, receiving a faint nod.

"Okay... Just for tonight, then." Whispering that, Bryan gazed up at the elder with a tender, fragile smile on his lips, heart warming up at the pleased look in his eyes. He could do that, he could forget for a while. For tonight. For Tala. With his beloved there, he was able to do anything, or so he'd been led to believe. Even discard the fears and worries about what the future held for them and just be happy having Tala there with him. Feeling him, touching him... Aside the two of them, nothing else mattered right now. These few moments really mattered to him. The chances that they could be torn apart tomorrow was a thought he was willing to try his best to forget.

Thus, during their late dinner Tala explained what he had meant by that more clearly to his beloved; he'd convinced Zilya, her daughter and husband to all go out for the night to give him and Bryan some time alone; Zilya, who'd taken Tala in, had even spoken to the social worker who was looking out for Bryan, coming to an agreement which would let Bryan stay for the night. It didn't take long until their plates were empty even though the bottle of wine the woman had left for them was still half-full for neither of them wanted tonight being hazed up by alcohol's influence, though still weren't sure how strong red wine was. Right now, they were sharing a moment of silence, Tala's eyes taking in the picture of his beloved before him, memorizing it for he wasn't sure when he'd see it again. Bryan was beautiful to him, simply flawless to his eyes; he loved every of the delicate features of his face encircled by silky, shimmering locks of hair, the occasional wrinkling of his forehead when he was stressed; the slim eyebrows; long, curved eyelashes above magnificent, expressive orbs which were staring at a point of the wooden table.

An image of perfection displayed right before his eyes in all its fragile, captivating beauty. An image he could stare for hours and hours at and never get tired of. His heart was pacing in dire rapture by simply having this amazing being in front of him. In the Abbey he'd taken little appreciation for anyone, but now being able to feel things, and love his best friend the way he wanted to, it made things so much more extravagant to him.

He was quiet recently, so hesitant with everything. He used to be quiet to the point that he seemed arrogant and cold, but now around Tala he was only quiet because he was shy and hesitant. They had been meaning to try this for a long time now…in the Abbey they just weren't sure how to go about it, especially since Boris had hurt Bryan so badly while doing that to him; they wanted what they did together to have nothing to do with what Boris had done to him and since they got out of the Abbey they'd always been talking to the police, or found it difficult to be home alone together. Now Bryan may be moving city and so it was the motivation they had to cram their passion into one night.

"We should go to sleep." The quiet, soft voice of the younger broke the silence between them, eyes sparking up with a hint of nervousness while his smile became a bit insecure causing Tala to chuckle softly.

"Are you tired?" he asked then and Bryan felt a light shiver run down his spine at the husky spoken words, the bright blue eyes of the elder narrowing a bit in an examining manner.

And that indefinable gaze caused Bryan's cheeks to heat up with a tender blush as he whispered his "No..." accompanied by a slight shake of the head. It was never Bryan's type to ever be this flustered about anything but lately Tala had done that to him and it just made him shrink away into a little corner of his mind and heart. The stress he'd been under recently; finding out he was truly in love with Tala, good chances that he may never see him again after tomorrow, recovering memories and emotions, mentally reliving his pain and experiences, it was all too much and it caused him to slowly withdraw. After fighting all these for so long, he gave up on being tough and trying to fight off someone he appreciated so much.

Tala didn't reply, getting up. "Stay put." He said gently as he watched his friend attempting to follow his example.

Bryan blinked in bewilderment but complied, heart starting to flutter in his chest as the older boy walked over to him. He tilted his head a bit in question as Tala crouched down in front of him capturing both of the younger's hands in his. Slowly, he brought them up to his lips pressing a long, tender kiss to the back of each hand causing Bryan's breathing to hitch a bit and his blush to grow a shade darker. He wasn't given a chance to say anything to that however as his hands were freed again, the eldest's arm slipping beneath the hollow of his knees and the other between his back and the chair. The next moment he gasped softly as the elder rose to his feet again hoisting him up onto his arms and gently pressing him closer with a smile. Just as he was about to turn and make his way to exit the kitchen Bryan's voice stopped him.

"Wait..." and that he did, halting in his movement. Encircling the neck of the elder with one arm to hold on to him Bryan reached his other one to the table, fingers wrapping themselves around his glass of wine he still hadn't finished, if he was going to calm down his nerves at all then that glass of wine was going to be what did that. Taking it he turned his head to Tala again, a playful smile stretching at his lips. The boy chuckled in reply soon having Bryan pillowing his head on his shoulder comfortably and hitting the light switch as the elder passed it by to turn off the lights in the kitchen and made his way to the bedroom in the darkness.

"Don't you dare drop me." Bryan mumbled, just a little scared that he was going to be dropped.

"Give me some credit, Bry. You see to it that you don't drop your glass in one of your fits of clumsiness." And Tala could almost see the adorable pout forming on the lips right now.

Coming to halt before the bedroom door he waited for Bryan to reach out and press down the handle before nudging the brown wood open with his foot. He made his way to the bedside table, bending down a bit so that the lithe fingers of the light weighted figure on his arms could reach out to switch on the bedside lamp. Soft, yellow light erupted from it then plunging the room into a warm and cozy atmosphere. Carefully Tala set his best friend down onto the bed's edge and took place beside him while the younger placed the glass of wine on the bedside table next to the lamp.

Bryan's heart was beating a very, very paced rhythm while he did that, spreading a tingling wave in his chest and stomach and without him even noticing it his breathing was quivering ever so slightly. Funny for Tala still hadn't done a thing, he was just sitting here beside him but that alone was enough for Bryan's senses to sharpen up so much he could almost feel the air swaying around them with the movements of their breaths, though even the light sound of Bryan's own breathing was causing him to feel dizzy. Slowly, he turned to face the elder locking his insecure gaze with the calm firm one of his beloved, thinking that if he focused everything on someone or something then maybe he'd calm down a little better.

And watching his flustered beloved, admiring the shy and nervous sparkles in those captivating, orbs Tala couldn't help but smile softly reaching out to cup the cheek which felt a bit heated up under his hand with a tender blush. It was amazing how very innocent and pure the being before him seemed even though he surely had his nasty and devious side, for that clearly was the side that most people had grown accustomed for people. But not right now. Right now he was the most beautiful and gorgeous sight ever and not to mention very, very alluring.

Leaning in, he stopped just before touching the delicately sweet lips still keeping his gaze locked with the boy's. "I love you, Bryan." He whispered softly watching tender vague happiness touch those eyes. He knew the younger boy couldn't reply to that in anyway, and so just closed the distance and pressed their lips together.

Like so many times before their kiss pulled Bryan down into a sea of pleasant emotions, not allowing his eyes to stay open no matter how much he desired them to be so that he could be able to look into Tala's blue eyes and get lost in their depths and the love and care reflecting there. His body shuddered softly as the hands of the elder took his shoulders, gliding down his upper arms and giving his elbows a soft nudge to cause Bryan to lift his arms and wrap them around the neck of his beloved.

The warm hands came to lie on his sides then, thumbs brushing over his stomach with caring pressure causing him to gasp into the kiss and allow Tala's tongue entrance to gently ravish his mouth while the calloused fingers moved higher, arriving at the top most button of his shirt and undoing it in an unhurried and careful motion.

Feeling the younger's grip on his neck tighten a bit Tala brought their tongues into soft but forceful contact, pleased with a light moan while his fingers continued in his task of undoing one button after another until there weren't anymore buttons left to undo. Carefully he slid his hands under the hem of the now-opened shirt, touching silky skin and causing the younger to part away from the kiss to draw in a gasp of air.

Bryan's eyelids fluttered half-open again, blood rushing through his body with a quicker pace and heating it up, straining his nerves to sensitive awareness of his beloved's fond touches. And even though he was slightly nervous he didn't have any fears or qualms, ready to give himself up completely to the only person he felt he that he really and truly belonged to. Now, he wanted to give Tala not only his heart, mind and soul but also his body and his feelings, all of him that there was left to give. For actually, the elder was the possessor of it all since long ago already.

Circumspectly, Tala's hands slid up to the slender shoulders, gently moving down the upper arms to nudge the material of the shirt off a bit, letting it smooth down the silky skin in an almost sensual way causing Bryan's breathing to hitch at the steadily growing excitement. The clothing was now clinging only to the wrists of his hands which he had stemmed into the bed, leaning back onto them, his exposed chest heaving in a slightly disturbed rhythm.

Sin, temptation, enticement – that was what Tala's eyes took in upon looking at that stunning picture and wrapping one arm around the lithe body a little above the waist, feeling his beloved leaning into the touch for both warmth and support for the elder gently robbed him of one of the possibilities to steady himself by taking one of Bryan's hands into his own, the material of the shirt around it sliding off. Gripping that little hand softly he brought it up to press his lips into the small palm in a tender kiss, tugging a bit to stretch the thin arm out and be able to place more kisses onto the warm skin – to the wrist, down the inner side of the forearm and the hollow of the elbow, moving his lips up the biceps finding the muscle tensing the slightest bit in response to his caressing.

Breathing out a soft sigh, Bryan's eyes fell halfway closed again, senses hazing up little by little as he leaned back more against the strong hand supporting his upper body, finding it yielding under his weight to gently lower him towards the bed's surface, the skin of his shoulder tingling under Tala's lips. Surprisingly, he never knew that he could ever feel this way. When Boris touched him…it felt disgusting, it made him feel disgusting. But now, with it being Tala, it seemed right, it seemed perfect.

The redhead smiled with satisfaction at the appearance of goose bumps on the silk skin of the vocalist as he gently traced his tongue over the collarbone's outlines moving up to its junction with the neck and finishing in his task to gently lower his friend onto the velvet covers; the material of them being Zilya's idea too. He wanted to take his time, take all the time they were granted in this world to please his beloved and imprint this night into both their memories forever. And even though he was overly sensitive and fond in all his gestures and movements he still felt like he needed to be even more careful with this beautiful and so very fragile being in his arms.

His lips moved over the neck slowly, hearing a quiet moan escaping those appealing lips as he sucked in some of the sweet skin, not wanting to leave marks using his teeth. Bryan was too precious to be marking him in any way, he wouldn't allow anyone to do that and he wasn't allowing it to himself as well.

But despite all their gentleness the kisses and touches of his beloved still burned so very pleasurably on the skin, forcing his eyes to fall shut completely with another soft moan as more of Tala's kisses followed moving up to his jaw line and further to the base of his ear, lingering on the spot just beneath the earlobe and causing a hot shiver to rush down his spine. The kisses were accompanied by the leisure, calm movements of the redhead's hands caressing his sides, stomach and chest, eliciting a small yelp and causing the lithe body to wince slightly as the warm fingertips found their way to the pink nipples to tease them into hard buds.

Bryan's breathing hitched and caught in his chest as he felt Tala sealing his mouth in a passionate kiss, his parted lips allowing the tongue of the elder entrance without having to be asked. His world spun around him quicker a few times, trying to cope with the sensations rattling through his body and flaring up his senses even though he knew they'd barely even started yet. But it was just what Tala did to him... every moment of love, devotion and tenderness he experienced with his gentle guardian were the most intense moments ever. Strong, impulsive and mind-blowing... just like Tala himself...

The younger boy's body had felt so abused lately. The memory of what Boris did to him, the memory of what all the adults did to him in the Abbey; his body felt so worthless, so disgusting. He'd never understood, love, sex or love-making. What he felt in the Abbey was disgusting dirty sex and when he remembered about it he swore he'd never want to feel that way again. Then learning that it could be turned into an act of love and care, he was still hesitant about it but Tala seemed to silently promise him that he'd look after him, that he'd in no way further ruin his view of things.

At times he found himself staring off to the side of the room, his cheeks turning bright red. He wasn't quite sure if it was from the heat and passion of their actions, but he was almost sure that that little flutter in his heart and stomach were embarrassment. Boris had made him feel humiliated, made him ashamed of his own skin and soon he'd be showing more of that same skin to someone he cared about. He was sure that the blush on his face was going down his whole body by now and the erection hurting him more out of humiliation of the other being able to feel it beneath him.

A long, dazzling moment passed with that fervent kiss lasting on and on before the redhead's lips parted away from Bryan's own, allowing the younger to draw in a very well-needed, heavy breath, shuddering at the silky surface of just those lips moving down, over the corner of his mouth, the chin, the jaw line and down the neck to trace the path over the left half of his chest, right were the little heart was beating so very hastily in its never-ending yearning for the man above him. The long skinny fingers of the younger teenager curled up softly, gripping at the smooth covers beneath them as even teeth captured one of his already oversensitive nipples, a playful tongue flickering over it to draw of him a long, blissful moan. It was becoming hotter, his body already moistening a bit to cool his heated skin down by building up a fine sheen of sweat.

Tracing his path further downwards the tongue and lips of the older mapped out every long thin bruised rib, hands sliding down the slim sides to feather over the hard leather of the belt, meeting in the middle over its buckle and undoing it, hearing the light rattling of metal against metal followed by a quiet swishing sound of the pulled down zipper.

The stomach of the younger trembled with the shuddering breaths that he exhaled, having those tender attentive kisses placed all over his belly, lifting his hips up a bit to ease Tala's task of carefully pushing the pants and boxers down those slim hips. The front side of both clothes was still clinging to the sharp edges of the hipbones and putting slight pressure onto his fully grown erection causing him to writhe a bit at the tormenting feeling.

"Tal…a!" his gasped moan of his beloved's name, somewhere in the sea of pleasure caused by the sweet shock of having the slick tongue slipping over the edge of his navel right into it causing the younger's slender shoulders to jerk backwards into the cushions a bit, lifting his torso up for a brief moment with his heavy breaths and tears forming at the corner of his eyes. Usually feelings of pleasure weren't ones to bring tears to someone's eyes but they did. And the more unlikely he was to ever cry about his angst anywhere else, the more likely it was that he would cry about it now.

Pushing the disturbing material of both pants and underwear completely down to the male's thighs, Tala continued caressing the creamy skin of his lover with devoted kisses, tracing down the stomach and over the tensed abdominal muscles, carefully avoiding contact with the hardened length for now and simply eyeing it with one hungry glance before continuing in his tender task in worshipping every inch of that thin muscular body.

Bryan's breathing had dissolved into a messy interval of quick inhales and exhales, fingernails scratching over the surface of the velvet linen beneath his shaking form, occasionally in chord to his repeatedly relaxing and tensing up muscles. A sweet torture he was experiencing in such a way for the very first time in his life.

Just like Tala was giving such kind of attention and love for the very first time to another person and even more so, feeling so very good about it. More soft kisses he placed on the silky skin of the thighs, brushing the material more and more downwards and letting his lips trace their path on, over a sharp, round knee down the lower leg to the small foot. He parted away only briefly, and also reluctantly for the sweet skin was an addiction in itself, to carefully lift those feet by the heels one after another and brush the disturbing clothes off banning them away onto the floor.

A brief second Bryan tried to use in order to calm his slightly trembling and shivering body down, still feeling the phantom touches of those warm kisses all over himself and causing his stomach to clench in pleasure and embarrassment. He was sure this night would cost him in his mind eventually but he really didn't care as long as his beloved was the one melting him into one big bundle of sheer emotions. Thoughts didn't have any spare space left for them tonight.

In the morning when Bryan would be torn away from the one he loved, that'd be when he'd allow his emotions to hit him so hard but right now he didn't want to feel any of the effects Boris had had on him. He wanted to feel what Tala was doing to him.

Slowly, making his way up again over the leg he had neglected before eliciting more sighs, gasps and moans of his beloved, taking them into his consciousness through his ears to let them scatter waves of pleasure over his own body, soon grazing a slim hipbone with his tongue and finally moving to give his attention to Bryan's most needy body part.

And with every inch those warm, full lips were moving closer to his aching arousal the younger took in a breath through his opened mouth until his lungs refused to accept more of the oxygen, his stomach shrinking more and more before releasing the great amount of pressure in one long, deep moaning sound as the tip of his erection disappeared into a moist, hot cavern that he didn't even want to catch sight of.

"Tala... Tala, oh... oh my...!" chanting helplessly he gripped a handful of the linen, his other hand moving to bury its fingers into the soft locks of his beloved's hair to gently but feverishly comb through them in pleasure and encouragement, the eldest's head continuing in its steady downward movement taking the heated, tensed flesh in bit by bit and enjoying all the small whimpers and longing moans accompanying his actions, the beautiful voice sending shivers down his spine.

And Bryan felt himself burning, burning up so much he didn't know where to turn to for rescue. Probably, only those warm lips were able to offer him that right now, his whole body tensing up and trembling at the feeling of a tongue sliding up his entire length and twisting around the tip before travelling down and repeating its action again, accompanied by gentle pressure of the lips which were moving as well, releasing his arousal to let the air hit it in a cool breeze before swallowing him into the hotness of the mouth again. A maddening, torturing sensation yet so wonderful and blissful at the same time building up more and more pressure in the pit of his stomach, forcing his moans to grow over into low cries, swiping his consciousness clean of any thoughts except the name of his beloved which flew so freely and yearningly from his lips, the release approaching him with harsh, huge steps with every sucking motion.

His stomach clenched abruptly at every hot wave of pleasure hitting his body and senses, driving him towards the peak mercilessly. He wasn't even aware that his hips were arching up into the touches of his beloved with growing need before his world tilted and swooped over with the orgasm sweeping over him in a giant wave of emotions, a loud cry ringing through the bedroom as he tried his best to bite back the scream he wanted to let out so desperately, unconditionally spilling his essence into the mouth of the elder which was eagerly awaiting to swallow all of it down to the last drop.

Panting heavily and with cheeks flushed an immensely deep shade of red, Bryan's body sunk back into the soft mattress, the firmly closed eyelids twitching every now and then at the aftershocks rattling through his still shivering body. His parted lips and his throat felt dry, forehead shimmering with some fine fragile droplets of sweat and heart racing in his chest but calming down second by second.

Coming down from his high he felt Tala hovering close above him now, trying to force his eyes open to see that handsome face or at least move his arms to encircle his neck and tug the elder down for an exhausted, satisfied and also gratitude-filled kiss.

He didn't have to yearn or wait for that touch for long however as he felt the warm, soft lips descent onto his own just a moment after the wish for them had filled his mind. Releasing a pleased purr Bryan met the gesture all too happily, finally bringing up a hand to rest it on his guardian's neck and fondle it gently before darting out his tongue and trace it over the outlines of the older's lips, asking for entrance. He felt them curl up slightly into a smile which got him partly bewildered and partly curious, nevertheless Tala opened his mouth a bit and then watched the magnificent, eyes snap open to gaze up at him in surprise as Bryan felt cool, slightly bitter liquid seep through the parted lips into his cavern, tasting the exquisite flavor of the bitter sweet wine mixed up with his own essence.

Soon after the elder watched his angel smile softly into the kiss and swallow the fluid down, moving his tongue to lick Tala's lips dry of it and then moving past them for a passionate, deep kiss, gazing into the gently shimmering, blue eyes and feeling his heart speed up again in sheer affection and unrestrained devotion.

Love you. I love you. I love you. That was what Tala saw reflecting in the depths of those dear, endlessly blue orbs, cradling the younger closer tenderly and softening the forceful kiss, caringly running his hands all over the ivory, cooling down skin just enjoying the moment and the emotions they shared. Never... never did he want to give his precious little angel away again... Never did he want to let go of him, yearning to enclose that warm, lithe body in his embrace forever. Forever and beyond... He felt meant to be... meant to love and be loved by Bryan only. The two of them... neither could exist without the other anymore.

Breaking the kiss he watched his beloved casting a brief, shy glance to the bedside table and he needed no words to understand. Smiling down onto the younger gently he leaned in to kiss the sweet, delicate lips thoroughly once more but as he was about to straighten up again the small hand on his neck held him in place before moving away after he had halted in his action.

The lithe fingers soon slipped down, gripping the hems of the redhead's shirt and gently pushing it up causing Tala to finally realize that he himself was still fully dressed and also getting reminded of his arousal by a slightly painful aching and the pressure it experienced being still locked inside his pants. He guessed that's just what Bryan did to him... He made Tala forget about everything, even about himself and his own needs just as long as he was safe, happy, satisfied and not lacking anything.

For a long time it had pained him to know that Bryan had been so abused and so taken advantage of. Now he just wanted to make him feel better, he wanted to make things up to him and do something for him. He wanted to give him a happier memory. He'd spoken to Zilya; funnily enough he trusted her with a conversation like this. He'd been so undecided whether he should or shouldn't make this sort of move on his friend due to what had happened to him but so far she seemed to have been right, things would be okay.

He'd found that Bryan had grown to be different within the past few weeks. He was quieter, gentler and definitely taking a lot more initiative in their relationship. He grew to be more sensual, like he had the right to feel pleasure and had the right to give it too.

Briefly, he lifted his arms to allow the younger to brush the piece of clothing off and away before feeling that warm hand descending onto its rightful place on the back of his neck. Using it for support the younger tugged himself up a bit, titling his head to the side and softly placing his silky lips on the elder's neck in a tender kiss.

The chaste, almost innocent gesture caused Tala's feelings to skyrocket and also to stem his hands onto the bed, feeling the lithe fingers of his beloved feather up and down the back of his neck in fondling motions and those plush lips wander down a bit, placing soft butterfly kisses along his skin which started tingling, spreading that warm, ticklish sensation throughout his body.

"Bryan..." he exhaled unevenly, barely aware of his own eyes falling closed at the caresses which felt almost forbiddingly good.

The delicate lips of the youngest blader curled up ever so slightly into a smile, pleased with his beloved's reaction. Gently closing his teeth around the pulsing skin he tugged at it letting the biting motion smooth out into a kissing one and bringing his free hand up to place it on the strong chest right were he felt that precious heart beat in a paced rhythm.

Those delicate fingertips traced their exploring path further downwards eliciting a quiet gasp from the elder as they brushed over a nipple, seemingly finding the action quite entertaining and teasingly repeating it a few times. No matter how shy and inexperienced he acted, he simply had that playful side to him, a side Tala loved on the younger anyway. And maybe, Tala himself was just as inexperienced since this wasn't a comparison between men and women anymore for being involved in a fugitive relationship was worlds away from being involved with Bryan. Just like there were worlds between simple sex and what they had... Love.

The tender touches continued their discovering tour, the warm, soft lips indulging his neck with more of those sweet kisses causing the older boy's heart to pace up even more, rushing warmth to every part of his body. Skillfully the lithe fingers managed the task of undoing both belt and zipper even though Bryan had a bit more of a problem trying to push the annoying material down his beloved's hips using only one hand.

Still, as Tala tried to move away and help the progress, Bryan stubbornly held him in place, successfully capturing his full attention with a slow-traced lick from the hollow of the throat up to the base of the ear, eliciting a low groan of pleasure. And with a bit more effort and forceful tugging he did manage to push the pants and boxers off the slim hipbones as far as the length of his arm would allow him, causing a surprised hiss to leave his beloved's mouth as said material brushed his arousal with painful pressure.

Titling his head a bit he kissed the full lips of the elder soothingly murmuring a quiet "Sorry..." against them in a brief parting before kissing them again.

Tala just smiled into that apologetic kiss even though having to reluctantly break it for a moment to finish undressing and discard the last clothing down onto the floor before leaning in to capture the sweet lips forcefully once more. With a soft gasp Bryan felt himself being pressed down into the cushions and the velvet sheets again, a knot of burning excitement forming in his stomach.

"Tal…" Bryan whispered helplessly against the neck. "Tal…can you give me a minute, please?" he gently moved him off him, closing his eyes and bringing his whole breathing pattern to one that would be considered more normal.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No…not at all. I'm just dizzy now, that's all it is." Who could blame him? The wine he'd had was already going to his head and making thinking hazy, while some thoughts of the past came swimming into the sea of confusion. His constant uneven breathing wasn't helping. He'd become so overwhelmed with the kisses, the touches and all the feelings that they'd caused that he almost forgot the simple act of breathing.

Tala pushed him back to lie against the pillows where he'd be more comfortable, leaning closer to him and kissing his cheek gently while waiting for his head to stop spinning. Understanding that this maybe a distraction from what was to come he pressed his lips more to the younger's ear, "Are you scared or something?"

"No." Bryan retorted grumpily. Tala pulled away a little, glaring slightly with the love at the back of his eyes, "Just a little and… I don't know why." He admitted softly. Tala pressed stone-cold lips to Bryan's, starting up another passionate kiss to take his mind off it for a while.

Completely drowned in that one kiss he wasn't even aware how the elder reached out to the bedside table he had glanced to earlier, taking out the small tube of lubricant. He only snapped back to reality as his lips were released to allow him a deep, most needed breath before releasing a soft gasp feeling his legs being spread gently. A slight nudge of anxiousness to his consciousness caused a light tremble which immediately brought a soothing reaction from his beloved as Tala placed tender kisses up from the bridge of his nose to the forehead and down the temple to the flushed cheeks. He felt the younger wince a bit as his lube-coated fingertip touched the base of that tight ring of muscles which hadn't experienced a touch in such a way for a long time up until now.

"Tell me if I'm hurting you." He whispered softly in Bryan's ear, placing more kisses on its outer shell and receiving a faint nod and a tentative shiver in response. And heavens, he was almost just as excited as the younger boy was, exhaling a deep breath himself before carefully pushing the finger into the younger in a slow, gentle and fluid motion.

Bryan's closed eyelids trembled as he squeezed them shut a bit more, the eyebrows knitting together as a suppressed half-breath, half-whimper left his chest at the strange feeling. Sliding the digit in and out of the younger Tala continued to place soothing kisses on the flushed skin of Bryan's face feeling his own heart pacing while watching the tensed expression on the other's face, the delicate lips parted slightly to release heavy breaths which were hitting his own face and side of the neck whenever he leaned down to caress more of the silky skin with his soft kisses.

His second finger was welcomed by those tight walls with them clenching around the digits at first and a low moan leaving Bryan's chest. Carefully continuing the movements inside the lithe body his lips travelled downwards to caress the slightly sweaty skin on the vocalist's neck while plunging the fingers into the heat a bit deeper.

Bryan winced, back arching up off the bed into the touch of the other as a stinging hot wave of pleasure shot from his lumbar region and up his body causing it to tremble and flying from his lips in form of that loud, slightly surprised sound.

Content with his new discovery the redhead repeated the action over and over again, eliciting long sensual moans from the usually-unshakable blader which made his own blood slowly start to boil with passion, need, love and lust. That voice was driving him mad sounding so very gorgeous underlined with the notes of helplessness of being confronted with this newly found bliss and the need of feeling more of it.

Mad... Bryan felt like he already was going mad exposed to those slow, careful touches and having the electrifying sensations caused by them sweetly tormenting his senses but soon not able to satisfy his growing hunger for more contact and more intensity. He was fully aroused again and he needed more of his beloved, wanting to feel all of him and finally join both bodies and minds together into one whole. The small touches he received now weren't enough anymore even though the thought of more was actually making him fear it...

Crossing his arms behind the neck of the elder he tugged him down to bring their lips and tongues into eager, heated contact, breathing out his gasps into the mouth of his beloved between brief parting moments before moving up.

"Tala..." a heavy exhale followed by a longing moan against his ear caused a shiver down the Tala's spine. "Tala... Come on..." it was difficult producing words with his breathing raging in his chest like that but he noticed a more perceptible shiver they caused to seize his beloved's body. Refuse that soft order Tala couldn't, even more so he desired nothing more than to finally claim this warm, frail being his.

He breathed out against the silky, pulsing skin of his neck, his aching arousal reminding him piercingly of its need. He wondered if Bryan even knew how alluring that writhing and those sounds were to him… maybe he did know... The notes of seduction underlining that sentence weren't exactly helping Tala to deal with the growing need yet it still caused a light smile to his lips as he kissed his way over the collarbone and the slender shoulder, withdrawing his fingers which elicited a slightly disappointed mewl, some of the tension leaving the trembling body beneath him.

Reaching out for the small tube on the bedside table again Tala soon had to hiss lowly as his hand coated in the cool lubricant touching the heated flesh of his erection. Carefully he spread those slender legs a bit more and Bryan tensed up subconsciously, hands gliding down a bit to get a firm grip on the strong shoulders of his beloved trying to steady breathing and heartbeat, stomach clenching softly in anticipation and more than just a hint of anxiety at this point. One big step they were about to take to complete their love and their relationship in every way imaginable.

Forcing his eyelids open the younger looked up into the gently shimmering eyes which were wearing a glimmer of need and passion just like his own, a small curtain of fond desire hazing up both their vision slightly. Despite his efforts his heart was pacing up more and more inside his chest, he longed for the other so much it almost caused a physical pain and that yearning and love was just what radiated off him causing Tala's heart to respond with a rushed, chaste beating of devotion as well. One night... one night to share it all...

Settling between his beloved's legs he felt a shiver rattling through both their bodies as the tip of his arousal pressed against the tight ring of muscles he intended to break in a moment. Gasping, Bryan couldn't help his eyes falling half-shut again feeling the invasion into his body which was so much different to that of the older's fingers minutes ago. It was only a soft nudge at first but further he felt himself being stretched constantly, the movement growing hurtful more and more, soon eliciting a pain-filled whimper to leave his lips.

Stilling in his action Tala leaned in to tenderly kiss the parted lips of his lover in a soothing manner, barely halfway sheathed in the welcoming heat. The pressure around him made it hard to be holding back but the last thing that he wanted was to hurt his little angel more than absolutely necessary. It was quite clear to Bryan that it wasn't going to work this way; his body was strained trying to prepare for enduring more of that pain yet he knew it would be better to get it over with more...

"Quickly..." he breathed out, keeping his teeth gritted together, clinging to his gentle guardian and gazing up with pained eyes, the same eyes that were showing that he was giving up his trust and dominance. He knew it was a torturing wait for the elder as well just by looking at that tensed expression on the handsome features so he tried relaxing as much as he was capable of, tugging him closer. "Just do it quickly..." he whispered trustingly, knowing the pain would be so very worth it in the end. Tala managed a nod, complying with the request without further doubts for Bryan's wish, no matter what causes and reasons, was his command he'd fulfill devotionally.

Taking in one deep breath he thrust into the younger softly but swiftly, his head dropping down onto the slender shoulder to release a low, throaty groan into it at the heat and pressure he'd plunged into while the younger threw his head back into the cushions, body arching up with a harsh flinch and a loud, pained cry leaving his lips feeling like he was being split apart, a hot, hurtful wave echoing in his nerve tracks. Yet it was accompanied by a warm sensation of bliss as the pain ebbed away letting him become aware of his beloved resting inside him and causing tingling electricity to run alive in the pit of his stomach and burn up his veins to engulf his heart into a luminous blaze of satisfaction, love and the beautiful feeling of finally being linked with his loved, ready to let them melt into one whole.

"Sorry…" a husky whisper reached his ears as Tala finally managed to catch his breath again, the warm, full lips pressing to the corner of his eye where a small crystal-like droplet had emerged from beneath the tightly shut eyelids, not big enough to trickle down the silky skin but still perceptible in its slightly salty taste.

Panting softly Bryan opened up his eyes, turning his head a bit to find the heated cheek of his beloved and press a shaky kiss onto it. "No... just like this..." he whispered tightening his grip around the blader's neck. "Love me hard like this..."

Tonight, he wanted to have it all. Tonight, he wanted to let this love and passion sweep away all of him, all of _them_. Mind, heart, soul, consciousness, feelings and body – all of it should melt into one pool of intense togetherness because in the back of his mind the hideous, dark flicker was there to tell him it might as well be their only chance to seize a moment like this at all. Might be the only night he was allowed to be with Tala like this, might be the last chance to hold, feel and touch him like this. So ignoring the pain those thoughts caused, simply chasing the misery they brought with them away he concentrated on the fierce, unrestrained need and love they flared up, living this one night, this one moment with everything he was.

This didn't stay unhidden to Tala as well, he too was aware it might be their last chance to be with each other like this and he saw all of it, all the flaring passion, love and also the suppressed flickers of anxiousness and gloom in those magnificent, hazed up, deep brown eyes. It made the moment so much more vivid and real, sharpened both their senses to the limit so that the lived through sensations might stay imprinted in them forever because there was a chance they wouldn't be refreshed again.

Thus, pulling back he claimed him once again with a quick, lovingly forceful thrust making him scream out Tala's name in sheer rapture and growling his own bliss out in a deep sound, feeling the soft fingertips glide over his shoulder blades helplessly in search for support and stability for the mind which was disappearing quickly, yielding to the powerful sensations and letting heart and feelings to guide actions and instincts.

Impulsive, powerful motions which were pinning Bryan's slender body into the covers repeatedly no matter how eagerly it was arching up to meet those ardent, passionate thrusts, pain long ago ebbed away and forgotten. His throat was starting to burn slightly for his voice was strained again and again to scream the syllables of his beloved's name on its top, the beautiful sounds dazzling to Tala's senses and urging him on even more, his own low cries getting lost in the shoulder, neck, cheek or mouth of the younger as he randomly placed his feverish kisses wherever he could reach.

That unrestrained, fierce, blazing force rushing through every vein, muscle, nerve and fiber of their bodies... no, it wasn't only simple sex. It wasn't even emotional sex. It was love. Love in its most raw, most pure and most right self, joining two sole beings into a complete whole, melting them into one and dissolving separate feelings and perceptions into mutually shared sensations.

Concealing himself into the heat of his beloved again Tala buried his hand into the silky locks of the younger, bruising their lips together in an unrestrained, ardent kiss, his other one lying next to Bryan's head curling up into a fist to somehow get a hold or at least some kind of boundary to the raging force of love and yearning he felt, not able to force his eyes open to catch a glimpse of the angelic face he knew was twisted in a bliss-filled expression just like his own.

And Bryan wasn't feeling much different, whole body shuddering harshly whenever the arousal of the elder would slide along his inner walls powerfully and swiftly, sending liquid fire up every nerve and vein to hit his very heart and mind.

"Nhhaa!" his scream was deafening even to his own ears as Tala unerringly struck his sweet spot, the lithe body jerking at the maddening feeling of sheer ecstasy blowing away any rational thought and exploding inside his chest and stomach ferociously. His inner walls clenched around the arousal of the elder convulsively, almost painfully, still the redhead didn't halt in his raw, furious motions, chanting Bryan's name lowly and obsessively time and time again for it was the only thing circulating in his mind which was swept blank of anything else by pure bliss.

"I love you." he felt barely conscious uttering those words for he'd never said them before, voice hoarse and brittle yet still strained repeatedly with more captivating, screamed out moans. His hands were clutching to the shoulders for dear life, feeling the tensed muscles beneath the fingertips, both their bodies glistening with sweat which trickled down the burning up skin but not managing to cool down that passion, that flare that seemed to almost eat them up and cut them off the real world into one of their own where only both of them existed. Just the two of them... concealed in their love and devotion for each other which was now burning so much it threatened to simply raze both of them down.

Tala didn't feel himself able to reply to that confession, leaving his kiss-swollen lips, too much of pressure gathered in his chest and almost choking off his air with huge waves of pleasure and with the next deep thrust he finally blasted Bryan's limit of being able to take more of those sensations into thousands of pieces.

The younger felt himself being ripped apart by the most intense, mind-blowing orgasm he ever even dared imagining to be existing, simultaneously having an overload of the most different emotions flashing by his mind and heart, tears spilling from his eyes with the raw, almost desperate scream of the beloved name as he tried clinging on to him to not get lost in this sensation, hold on to him while dissolving in this ecstasy and also, a huge sting of pain knowing their mutual time expired a meaningful amount more with this blissful end. It all swirled by his almost fainting consciousness so very quickly and the next moment it got captured by the husky, loud moan of his own name into his shoulder as Tala found his salvation as well, caged by the spasms of the younger's inner walls and releasing that pressure deep inside, sending one more hot wave up his spine and eliciting a sobbing whimper.

Bryan's whole body was trembling uncontrollably having the aftershocks rushing in every of its fibers, tears trickling down his skin amply and freely to soak the material of the cushions beneath it. Inside his chest was a mess of emotions; happiness, bliss, rapture, pain and so, so much love... So much love it threatened to burst his ribcage apart and while closing his arm in a dead grip around Tala's neck to do all humanly possible to keep him close his other came to rest over his eyes covering them and lips parting to release helpless sobs. The beauty experienced, the unique feeling of being one with his beloved guardian and simultaneously having it shadowed by the danger of losing him sometime soon was too much to be bearing it silently and it had exploded, flushing all of it out with those tears of all happiness, stun and a glint of sorrow.

And while catching his breath and trying to prevent his heart from destroying itself with its very own mad beating Tala stirred in that iron grip Bryan had on him, endlessly happy and content but at the same time upset as well, knowing his precious was shedding tears again even though mainly out of positive reasons. Still he knew they were also tears of the painful realization that he himself was aware of too. This gorgeous love they had, that majestic beauty they'd just mutually achieved and shared with each other stood on very fragile joints.

"Bry..." his voice was suppressed, quivering slightly, with still the lingering sensations of the peak he'd experienced as he lifted his head as much as Bryan's arm was allowing him to, softly kissing those parted, trembling lips. "Sshh..." he breathed out against them with all the soothe and tenderness he could muster.

"I love you..." was the lost whisper in reply, tainted with so much longing and devotion it caused Tala's breath to hitch. Reaching out he gently took the thin wrist to take the arm of the younger off the magnificent eyes which remained shut tightly and still releasing salty droplets from underneath them. "I love you..." he repeated feeling as if it wasn't enough. Because it probably really wasn't... wasn't enough to explain that strong emotion nestled in his heart and setting it on fire by a mere thought of his beloved.

Smiling softly Tala leaned up to kiss those tears away from the sweaty, heated skin. "I know." He assured brushing his lips against the moist skin again to wipe the new tears off it. "I love you too, Bryan..." he swallowed the dying down sobs in a few long, gentle kisses, soothingly stroking the slender side and feeling the trembling subsiding. Breathing out some more kisses to the closed eyelids, the cheeks, forehead, temples and nose of the younger he sealed those sweet lips once more before carefully rolling off his beloved.

Getting his still tensed muscles to relax a bit he shifted upwards somewhat, cradling the angel close to himself and closing his arms around the smaller body protectively. Comfortably pillowing his head onto the chest of the elder, Bryan listened to the quiet and still slightly uneven heartbeat, possessively snaking his arm around the waist of his older best friend. He didn't want to let go of him... never... never. Never.

Closing his eyes Tala pressed him closer, steadily stroking the slender shoulder and upper arm, continuing in his tries to pacify his raging feelings and succeeding in calming them down by concentrating on that warm, loving presence in his arms. He felt content and peaceful but also utterly exhausted and spent and he guessed Bryan wasn't feeling much different. Still the thumb of the younger was stroking his side absentmindedly signaling that he was still fully awake.

"Bry... try to sleep a bit..." he said softly bending down to nuzzle some of the strands. Bryan stirred a bit, shaking his head tentatively.

"I don't want to..." he whispered, voice cracking slightly as he clung to the elder more firmly. The hours they had left were too precious to spend sleeping to him and they were far too little of time granted in the first place. Too little of happiness... too little of harmony and togetherness... much, much too little...

Sighing quietly Tala had to accredit Bryan's point. He didn't want to fall asleep either. If only he just could stay here like this with him enwrapped safely in his arms forever... If he just could be able to ensure this comfort and happiness for both of them forever... Even though 'forever' was a word of bitter impossibility, he didn't care for 'forever' was as long as Bryan would love him... 'Forever' was in his heart together with his devotion for the fragile being in his arms. Forever... their love would surely last just that long...

He stirred, feeling something moist and hot drop down onto his chest, instinctively tightening his grip on the younger. "Bryan..." he called quietly, his voice tainted by a pleading note of hope. Hope that those beloved eyes weren't sharing tears once more...

"I don't want to go..." was the whimpered reply as the vocalist struggled to get a grip on his raging emotions which forced those crystal droplets into his eyes without his consent.

Reaching out for the blanket Tala slid down the bed, turning onto his side and snaking his arm between the cushions and Bryan's head to have it pillowed on his shoulder, his other briefly reaching behind himself to switch off the bedside lamp and then tug the velvet cover over both their heads. Closing his other arm around the slightly trembling shoulders as well, safely hidden in that warm cocoon of material, his lips sought the ear of his beloved to place a tender kiss beneath it before parting to speak.

"You gave me a promise tonight..." he whispered feeling the plush lips of the younger press a shaky kiss to his neck.

"I know..." Bryan breathed out against the chest of his beloved snuggling up as close as it was possible. "I don't want to go..." he repeated his plea once more, sniffling. Squeezing his eyes shut, Tala kissed the still wet cheek fondly.

"I don't want you to leave either... but Bry, I beg you... hold on to that promise just a little longer... okay? For all we know the judge may rule in our favor and we'll still be together." Wanting just some more peaceful hours together. No matter what was to come with the dawn... right now, right here he only wanted to concentrate on his beloved and seize this love even if for this fugitive moment... grant both of them those few hours of happiness, warmth... love...

"Okay..." relaxing in the firm safe embrace Bryan's heart and feelings calmed down again, mind discarding the unpleasant and painful thoughts to follow Tala's example and just grant both of them this moment.

They both stilled then, eyes closed, lying hidden under the warm blanket with darkness and affection surrounding them as if shielding them from the cruel reality lying just outside. Not sleeping but concentrating on each other, on the dear heartbeat and the even breathing of the loved one close by, shutting down the thoughts and just sharing the next hours of togetherness with peace, devotion and warmth seizing mind and heart. And nothing existed but the both of them, enwrapped in that strong, unwavering, calm love with the sparkling hope of getting through this somehow. Together.

_**A/N: So that was it. My first yaoi lemon that I posted on this site, but surely not the first I've ever written. It's the longest lemon I've ever written though, the lemon itself was almost 8,500 words. As you could probably tell, this wasn't one of those lemons that were based on porn-like things and it no way intended to be. It was made to be pure love-making and nothing else. **_

_**Also, people would argue that Bryan as seme and Tala as uke would have been better. While that is true most of the time, I wanted to try something different, and also, sometimes Bryan just needs to relax and let someone else do all the work. So, hope you enjoyed this, please leave a review and let me know. **_


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